For those who follow this blog, or my page on Facebook, you may or may not know A Structure for Spirit is the name of my book. It was written as a guidebook to create a daily spiritual practice. Its first incarnation was as A Success Journal: Daily Practices to Manifest Your Intentions. It was self-published in 2005 along with an audio of guided meditations.
To create a book out of thin air, with nothing more than the ideas in your head, takes quite a bit of fire. And that fire kept me going for a good year after it was written, promoting it through family (oh what I have put them through in my life!), friends and clients. I ran out of steam as the energy invested seemed to show less and less payoff. I abandoned the book to a closet shelf where it began collecting dust for a number of years.
In 2010 I was working with a mentor who asked me, “How do you intend to bring your wisdom to the world?” Well I never gave it much thought until then but my book in the closet came to mind. After a series of synchronistic events it seemed time to pull the book down from the shelf.
I have had a daily practice for a very long time so what need did I have for a book to help create a daily practice? In the words of my mentor, “You’re blowing past your own medicine.”
I finally became a student of my own book. My father had recently died. My beloved had left me leaving my heart shattered to pieces. A period of isolating loneliness engulfed me.
The book landed in perfect and divine timing. It transformed and so did I. Everything changed, including the name. (Well my name stayed the same.)
Balboa Press became the new self publishing agaency. By this time Facebook was invented. I started a page. Nearly 9000 likes. The fire returned.
Keeping up with writing blogs and posting on Facebook is a full-time job, especially since I have never considered myself to be a writer. My entire life has been in healthcare and healing. My full-time job demands much of my time so for the second time I felt myself abandon the book as the dividends diminished.
THE COCA LEAF READING
On May 10th I arrived in Peru for the fourth time. I had a coca leaf reading my first day there. Shamans use coca leaves for divination the way one might use tarot cards or tea leaves. The coca leaves are prayed into and then thrown onto a sacred cloth.
“Did you write a book?” asked Don Andreas. I should not have been shocked but with wide-eyed awe I said, “Yes” while thinking “Oh no, here we go again with the book.”
“Well you have to make it bigger. You have to include more of what you have learned on your journeys here in Peru. You are like a farmer planting seeds that others in the future may harvest. This wisdom is not your own. It must be shared.”
This message seemed to reverberate louder than ever during our last journey to Peru. Share. Teach. Remove all doubt. Go forth with confidence.
I do not know how and I do not know when but the leaves have been thrown and it is time to grow bigger. I have been assured that the Apus will help me. With this entry I make myself accountable. A request to Spirit for guidance. To remember it is not about “me”. There is nothing that is “mine”. This remembering helps me to get out of my own way. Remove the self-inflicted obstacles created by doubt as another sacred birth is about to begin.