My blog has been quiet a long time. Grief stripped my heart of anything to share. Death took things I thought would never return. Gone was my desire to be a part of this world.
I will write on grief at another time. For now I offer how seemingly incongruous events paved the way back to my first despacho in a long, long time.
For weeks I was finding the wings of moths on my back porch. Their beauty and sheer abundance seemed like a gift from Spirit. I began to collect them on my altar as harbingers of light.
Each year the Sun returns to the exact point that it occupied at the time of our birth. Mine was last Monday, August 10th. According to those who follow these sorts of things, our solar return is a powerful time to bring our inner light into alignment with the Cosmic Light.
Since it was Monday and since it was my birthday, I was at my Kundalini yoga class with birthday cake in hand. I also brought Love Oracle cards to share with my fellow yogis and this too was placed on my altar.
Not only was it my birthday but the powerful lunar event of a New Moon was days away. And if that were not enough, the annual Perseid meteor shower was about to take place (I really did not know anything about this until my friend sent a link after I missed the first night).
These cosmic events seemed to propel the hand of Spirit to guide me to the medicine I thought was gone forever. With the elements of the despacho gathered on my altar they needed to be wrapped before offering. The market in my remote town does not sell wrapping paper but they do carry burlap bags. For the first time ever my despacho was wrapped in burlap.
Although a ceremony may start with a certain intention, the communion with Spirit has a voice of its own. As prayers were blown into the wings of moths a waking up was sparked; a waking from the slumber I had been in; a waking from the pain I was carrying; a waking from the fear of not knowing what life would bring. The wings of the ones who flock to light carried a message I was ready to hear.
It was time to wake up.
The wings holding prayers were placed over the card that spoke to the freedom in love. Offerings of flowers, sweets and sparkles built a feast for Pachamama and Spirit.
Even the burlap seemed to have a voice. The cloth spoke of humility; to be humble in our power, humble in our walk, to be humble in our heart. The bundle was carried to the center of a labyrinth to be informed by the cosmic light of unknown galaxies through the night.
The next morning I woke at 4 am. I thought of the meteors and my prayer bundle in the labyrinth. I was tired and wanted to stay in bed.
If this were to be my last day on Earth what choice would I make then?
I got out of bed and lay under the dark sky as stars sparkled and meteors from other worlds washed me in wonder.
Our most powerful teacher.